As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
