It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
