Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
