hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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