guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
