Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
