Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
