So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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