I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
