you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've blown a few things in my day
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
