we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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