I cockslap morals
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
