I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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