If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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