this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
