do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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