Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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