We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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