You smell like stripper and shame
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
