In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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