did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
