Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
