thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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