Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
