Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize