I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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