I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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