I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
