i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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