He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
