did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
