Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The ass gains better be worth it
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