I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
