Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So vagazzling was a success
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
