literally had 100 drinks last night.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
