You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
