Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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