nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
