No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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