I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
