ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
