Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
