so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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