it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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