How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
