I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
