this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize