This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
