I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
