My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we made out on top of his cat.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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