very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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