i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
