Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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