Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
