She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
