Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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