you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
