just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
