either way he was missing a nipple.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize