Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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