that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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