we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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