You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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