so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
