I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize