just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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