I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
