We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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