Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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