I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
