we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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