I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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