feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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