Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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