Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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